STAMOS!

The Interwebs are all abuzz with the news of a Full House reboot. I was in college when the Full House craze was in full effect. Suffice it to say, I was never a fan. But with it's return, it got me thinking about this odd little b-movie from the 80's starring Mr. John Stamos, Never Too Young To Die.

Stamos stars as gymnist Lance Stargrove, whose father, a secret agent, is murdered by an evil hermaphrodite bent on world domination. Yes, you read that right. Aided by a lovely secet agent, Stamos sets out to stop the hellbent he-she.

Is this movie awful? Yes...but it is so odd that it begs you to watch. Director Gil Bettman has loaded this film with a game cast. Gene Simmons, from Kiss, is the villain, Velvet Von Ragner. Simmons camps it up in fish nets, leather, and of course make up. Former Prince girl Vanity plays Stamos' partner and love interest. Rounding out the cast is former James Bond George Lazenby as Stamos' father and Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund as Simmons' right hand man/boyfriend.

This movie borders on painful. From the theme song, that just sings Stargrove over and over, to a sex scene that seems lifted from the Chuck Norris opus Lone Wold MzQuade. But as bad as it is, it definately earns points in originality. It's a total guilty pleasure.